What a great question to ask yourself when you're mad or feeling upset or angry with someone. I heard this the other night at a "Tea Party" given the Tzu Chi Foundation.
One of my daughters was in a group receiving scholarship awards from this group and my wife & I were there as guests. It was a wonderful event put on by a gracious and caring group of people. After the ceremony, there was a chance to mingle with the Tzu Chi members. One of the women members was telling me about the founder, Cheng Yen who started the organization in Taiwan over 40 years ago.
It was Cheng Yen who asked the question "Why Punish Yourself …..". It really stuck me. I had to stop and wonder, where has been mad or upset taken me off task or made me less effective.
Many times we all let others effect us in negative ways. This simple question shifts the perspective completely around. So Simple yet So Powerful. Stop for a moment and think of a time where someone upset you. What really happened to set you in motion? How did you feel? What happened to your effectiveness? Your focus and clarity? How did this affect your relationships with others?
I know my answers to these questions. And it is me who loses out. Me who becomes ineffective. Me who loses focus, energy and vitality. Its me who pays the price. So why am I punishing myself for the other person's faults?
Try this – next time you find yourself upset with someone or something someone has done. Pause and ask yourself, "Why am I punishing myself for their faults?" Let it sink in. Notice if you are resistant to the idea – if you are holding onto the anger. What are you holding onto, what is it costing you.
Get our secret Tips and Tricks to your inbox.