You’re waiting for a commitment. You consider yourself a patient woman, yes? You’ve been there through thick and thin with your guy and your heart is now telling you the time is right for the relationship to move towards something more serious. Maybe that means moving in together, or perhaps you’re hoping for an engagement ring and then a beautiful wedding. That’s what you want, but what about your boyfriend? Is he at all interested in a commitment or does he seem as though he’s firmly entrenched in the idea of being your boyfriend forever? One common question that women in your position have is how long is too long? Should you wait years for a commitment or is there a point in time where you have to throw your hands in the air and walk away?
Every relationship is different. We all know that but when we go into a relationship with a preconceived notion of how it should progress we can quickly run into an emotional brick wall with our partner. Such is the case when a woman dreams of a wedding and the happily-ever-after that follows. She imagines that when she meets the man of her dreams that they’ll date for a time, he’ll pop the life changing question and she’ll settle into her future as his doting wife and mother to his children. When he doesn’t follow this same path and instead gets stuck along the way in the role of long-term boyfriend it’s obviously incredibly disappointing. If you always imagined that you’d marry your guy and he is nowhere near stepping foot in a jewellery store to even look at engagement rings, you really do need to make a decision.
The decision may not be so much about whether you should call it quits and end things with your reluctant groom. It becomes more about whether you can alter your expectations and find happiness in a dating relationship that may never turn into anything more. In other words, is the idea of marriage more important to you than the man you love? If you’ve always had your heart set on marriage and you don’t feel that you can move forward in the relationship without that commitment, then it obviously may already be time for you to take a break and see where your heart is after a few weeks or months have passed.
Throughout this it’s crucial that you are clear about what you want and desire with your partner. Explain to him that a serious commitment is something that you really need. If he balks at that, don’t overlook it and assume it’s because he’s just not ready. His reluctance to even entertain the idea is a reflection of his feelings for you. We all need to make sacrifices in life and our romantic relationship often demands this of us. If he is adamant about not committing and you’ve made it known to him that you may one day leave because of this, he is then suggesting, by his actions, that his needs and more important than yours. For a woman intent on being married, this is a red flag. You should never pursue a committed relationship with a man who pushes your needs aside for his. Marriage is all about balance, so consider that before you make any permanent decision about the relationship’s future.
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