The Wedding Proposal
There are a few key parts of the wedding proposal that you have to get right. In some ways the act itself is more important than the diamond ring because you can’t bring it back to the shop to get it resized or change the setting.
Fortunately, if she loves you, she won’t hold it against you if you screw up royally. But if you can get a few things right, you can create the perfect engagement story.
Keep it a Surprise
Every woman loves a surprise and your marriage proposal should be one of the biggest. If you have already talked about it in your relationship, it doesn’t mean you should just plan a trip with her somewhere and propose. Try to keep her guessing and add some mystery to it.
I am also not suggesting you should pop the question after dating someone for a month and then surprise her with a ring! That definitely wouldn’t be the norm. There is always the possibility that both of fell in love at first sight, so I will just say here that it is unlikely and I wouldn’t do that. For all the regular couples that have been in relationships for 5+ years and are expected to marry, there are still many ways to create mystery, excitement and surprise.
Finding the Right Moment
Timing as with many things is everything. I had difficulties in getting it right myself (you can read about my mishap here).
Many friends have told me how they had planned a trip, waited for the sun to set or rise and then popped the question. Some have succeeded where others have failed. If you miss an opportunity, be patient and wait for another. I had a friend surprise her fiancée by sneaking a ring past customs in France and then getting her all the way up the Eiffel Tower before deciding there were too many people and then later proposing at the Louvre. If it doesn’t feel right, wait. The perfect engagement story is also sometimes a matter of chance. So, when the opportunity arises, take control right moment and propose.
Love in Words
You don’t necessarily have to write an entire speech, but try to jot down a few key things and what you want to say during this moment. Tell her how she makes you feel and why you want her to be your wife. You may not remember everything you would like to say, but preparation will lead to confidence and a smooth delivery.
Be a gentlemen and get down on one knee. I have only done it once it my life and I can tell you it felt right and it is just like in the movies! (my fiancee remembers it as me down on two knees, like begging, I don’t believe her).
My advice would be to end your proposal with a simple “Will you marry me?”
Love as a Diamond…
I proposed with a cubic zirconia. Then, after coming back from our trip, we went through dozens of ring designs and diamonds online together before choosing and creating a custom diamond engagement ring together. Choosing the diamond ring is an experience in itself and can increase the chances that your bride will love the ring and cherish it forever. Just because one diamond is bigger than the other doesn’t ALWAYS mean she will choose the bigger one.Also, buying a diamond ring is an emotional experience. We had a great time going to jewellery stores and diamond brokers trying on different rings, looking at diamonds and going through the web together.
There will, however, be nothing that can replace the sparkle of a real diamond ring when you propose. If you are more clever than I, you may already know her ring size and have chosen the diamond ring of her dreams. She may fallen in love with the ring you choose at first sight, but you will never know because she won’t tell you if she doesn’t love it.
Only you will know if she wants the actual engagement ring, a temporary substitute or a loose diamond when you propose.
A Real Diamond Ring
I recommend surprising her with a real diamond ring if you know she wants a solitaire and a certain shape of diamond cut (round brilliant, princess or cushion). If she likes name brands and you can afford to buy a Tiffany or Cartier diamond engagement ring – I don’t think you can really go wrong with a 2 carat, D colour, and VS1 clarity diamond solitaire ring from Tiffany’s. For others, read on.
Temporary Substitute Ring
There are a few different ways to go about getting a substitute ring. Buying or borrowing a cubic zirconia ring is an excellent option if you want to avoid trouble with customs while going and returning from another country. I also like this option if you are proposing where theft is likely. I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving my ring in my sock in Mexico. Some stores may also allow you to buy a diamond ring and then exchange it later. Be wary. If you fail to find a ring that she loves, there will likely be a restocking fee and you will be at their mercy if they have a no refund policy.
This is a fairly safe bet as well. The only unfortunate part would be that there will be no ring to place on her finger. You do have the option of spending a little money to have the loose diamond placed in a temporary setting first.
No Diamond and No Ring
I have heard that it is possible to propose with a rose or something else. I have seen a guy propose successfully with an apple on NBC’s show “Minute to Win It.” He later one $100k, so I am sure she got a spectacular ring. He had on his side at the time, a memorable venue and a he took control of the moment which will be captured in television history forever. If you come across this type of amazing moment, by all means do it.