Think back for a moment to the days leading up to your wedding day. Depending on how long you and your husband have been married this may take some effort on your part. Chances are that you’ll remember the feelings more than the actual moments. You likely felt cherished, adored and respected. You felt confident in the choice you were making in a life partner. Your husband was the man for you and there was no doubt in your mind about it. Now, it’s a couple of kids, a mortgage and many conflicts later. How are you feeling about your marriage now? Any woman in your position will generally feel the same way as you probably do. You still love your guy but you now notice that the perfect union you thought you were getting into has a few cracks here and there. One of those imperfections may be in how your husband relates to you. A very common complaint among married women is that their husband doesn’t respect their feelings. Is that something that you can relate to?
It’s incredibly hard to be in a marriage when you feel that your husband doesn’t respect what you feel. It makes you feel insignificant and undervalued. Your feelings for your husband are bound to change if you sense that he cares less about your emotions. You may begin to resent him which can undermine the foundation of your marriage and, in turn, the relationship you both have with your children. It’s a serious problem and it’s not one that will suddenly repair itself. You need to take ownership for what is going on within the marriage because it’s highly unlikely that your husband will take any steps towards changing the situation.
In fact, your husband may actually be oblivious to the fact that you feel disrespected in this regard. Men aren’t always born with the same emotional insight that we are. Your husband may just disconnect himself at times because he has grown tired of listening to you talk about what is bothering you. That’s not to say that he doesn’t care about you, but he may feel he can’t help you in any significant way so he instead tunes you out. You absorb that as his not caring when in fact, he just doesn’t feel emotionally equipped to provide any help.
There’s no way around talking with him about this. Some women become so emotional when they feel neglected in this way, that they take to playing games with their husband. They start using the silent treatment only to discover their husband doesn’t notice. Or some women huff and puff around the house hoping their spouse will recognize that their upset. What usually happens is the husband in question silently decides his wife is having a bad day and just gets out of her way.
Talk to your husband. Explain to him that you feel that he doesn’t show your feelings the respect they deserve. It’s very important that you cushion this with some positive reinforcement. A great example is if you tell your husband how grateful you are that you two are still together and still devoted to making the marriage as happy as possible. If he understands that you have only good intentions, he’ll be much more willing to help you deal with any issues that are bothering you.
Guide him towards a better balance by making suggestions of ways he can help you manage your feelings. Men welcome this type of feedback as it gives them a roadmap they can follow instead of having to navigate the tricky road of emotions on their own. Take his hand and show him what you need from him emotionally and he’ll be more willing to supply it.
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