A lot of people I speak to really want to break away from the normal 9 to 5 and to be fair most of them take the first tentative steps towards making this life changing move, they may have thought of a great way to make money or brought a book on how to start your own business or attend a seminar by someone who has done just what they would like to do, they may have even paid for a course that takes them step by step through the process of setting up a great money making system.
I know when I decided that I wanted to break away from the rat race I did all of the above and much more, spending thousands of pounds in the process BUT like most people, I never really got beyond those first few steps, in fact it was over TEN YEARS before I actually did grab the bull by the horns and put something into action. The amazing thing was after all that time it was one of the first ways to make money I learned of that I acted on and I have never looked back since.
So why do we do this? Why don't we take action if we want something as bad as we say we do? Why do we sit and procrastinate instead of doing something about it?
Well we usually come up with a number of excuses:
I'm not intelligent enough.
I didn't have a good education/get good grades/go to college. etc.
I haven't got the time.
I can't afford to do it.
I am too old/young.
I've never done anything like this before.
Or we put things off…
I will start Friday/next weekend/next month/when I have that week off work. etc.
I also know from experience one of the main reasons is fear!
Fear of failure!
Fear of change!
Fear of the unknown!
Fear of what other people will think of us!
The list goes on but generally comes back to that one irrational emotion;
False Evidence Appearing Real
The good news is we CAN do something about it, The bad news is its going to take a little bit of effort to address the problem. But don't worry its nothing complicated and its something that everyone can do.
What we have to do is change our mindset and to do this the first thing we need to do is change the way we speak to ourselves and this is what I'm going to be concentrating on today.
From very early on in life we talk to ourselves and what we say and how we say it has a big influence on how we react to the situations we find ourselves in as an adult. Over time we ( or the people around us/society in general ) brainwash ourselves with all kinds of limiting thoughts and notions of what we should do and what should make us happy.
So after a while all this self talk and outside influence helps to program our subconscious mind into accepting that we should be happy with what we do and what we have. After all you have a job/food on the table/ a roof over your head/ a car etc. so you should be satisfied with your lot right?
But is this really YOUR definition of happiness? Are you really satisfied with your lot?
I'm guessing that as you are reading this the answer is a resounding NO!
Well then it's time to admit to yourself that you are unhappy with where you are at this moment and that you are no longer going to accept life as it is. It's time to make your life what it can be and more to the point what it should be.
According to psychologists how we view life and more importantly how we view ourselves is largely set in stone by the time we are six years old. Just think about that for a while, everything we do in life, every decision we make, how we talk to ourselves and what we expect to achieve for ourselves is largely influenced by what kind of life we lived and what kind of experiences we had in those first few years!
Kind of scary eh?
So what does this mean?
In short it means that most of us talk to ourselves in a negative and unhelpful manner and this in turn restricts what we do or achieve with our lives.
Throughout the day we are talking to ourselves constantly either out loud or in our heads. Some of this self-talk is good – your dreams, your wants, your desires, your family, your friends, the little things that make you smile to yourself.
BUT some of it is negative and this stems from those experiences we were talking of earlier, those limiting influences that have got you nowhere. This kind of self-talk is what holds you back, it restricts you, brings you down and stops you from doing the things in life that you dream about.
This kind of self-talk is destructive and needs to be avoided at ALL costs. You must be aware of everything you are saying to yourself, whether it be out loud or in your head and when you find you are speaking to yourself in a negative way STOP!
Listen out for the positive things you say and concentrate on these instead, this is the kind of self-talk you have to nurture and as you do the negative self-talk will die back.
Once you allow the positive self-talk to flourish you will find great things start to happen with you as a person, to the way other people see and treat you and with your life in general.
Get our secret Tips and Tricks to your inbox.