“Past is past.” This is one of the most common lines in dealing with the drama of relationships. We try to avoid our past especially ugly ones. We fear that it might boil a possible dispute in the present. Therefore, we junk old memories in the deeper corners of our minds thinking that those stuffs are no longer necessary for your partner to know.
From ex-girlfriends to ex-boyfriends, from ex-wives to ex-husbands, from drug problems to health problems, from old reputations to unforgettable mistakes… Let us face it! We all have skeletons in our closets. Some of them were scary skeletons, which might give shiver to the marriage. However, in any relationship, most especially in marriage, the prudence of oneself is crucial… that includes the confession of your past life experiences. When you said, “I do” on your wedding day, you open up your life to your partner because you two are now taken as one.
Honesty holds the key to that oneness. It is through honesty that we get to know our partner and through it that we found and pick the real love of our lives. At any vantage point, being honest is a priceless deed that one can never judge. When couples are trying to settle an issue from their life’s archive, honesty is always a saving act. Being honest about the past can make all the difference in whether or not a relationship succeeds. If your partner withholds things about his or her past, there is a need to question that right away once you learn the truth. Therefore, it affects the ability of trust.
We all know that an essential ingredient for a harmonious marriage is a large dose of trust. This should come first before marriage because such will dictate the kind of bond the couples have. If something undesirable has happened in the past and your spouse swears that he or she has left that part of life behind, the decision to believe this or not depends on the trust you have established for your spouse. Instead of judging your partner for what he or she did wrong, appreciate your spouse’s honesty, maturity, and perspective.
When you both get to know each other’s past, it is one way to know where your marriage will go. This is the reason why man spends so much time studying the past because what is in the past holds what is in store for us in the future. Knowing the path, you and your spouse had been through gives the relationship an opportunity to look at unresolved issues and give you both a chance to address issues in the present.